Scriptures: Ephesians 5; Colossian 3

If a Christian will make Heaven, he must endeavor to make his family, a peaceful; home. Gods plan for the coming together of husband and wife is the home to be happy all through. Unfortunately, this has not come to fulfillment in many homes. Some husband and wives lives together like cat and mouse. Many have even divorced their husband or their wife. This is one of the things which God detest. Malachi 2: 15

Some husbands shirk their responsibility. Likewise some wives find it difficult to submit to their husband. The misfortunate aspect of this is that those who have no knowledge of the Bible stands as peacemaker, bringing them under the curse. Such home cannot know peace until the Bible becomes the controller of the home.

Examination:-

1. Handles The Family Finances Properly
2. Both the husband and wife should unite together in the area of finance. Gen. 2: 25
3. Plan the finance together.
4. Keep no secret from each other. Amos 3: 3
5. Learn financial management.
6. Cultivate the habit of saving.
7. Let the love continues even when there is insufficient finance, use the first love in every time.
8. Jointly take care of your parents without partiality. Remember your in-laws that are old.
9. Do not be proud when you are more buoyant than husband or your wife – 1 Tim. 5: 8
10. Both husband and wife should learn how to give to God Almighty. (Tithes, offerings and important donations in the church of God – Mal. 3:8 – 12. Remove family from curse of Tithes or working for God through your money.
11. Patient, Forbearance, Appreciation And Encouragement In The Family – Pro. 31: 28 – 31
12. Forbearance in season and out of season – Eccl. 3: 1 – 7
13. During pregnancy and child bearing.
14. During sexual relationship – 1 cor. 7: 1 – 3
15. Forbear in all and help your spouse – 1 cor. 13: 7
16. Appreciate him or her
17. Encourage and thank by praising him or her
18. Appreciate by giving kudos when she prepares delicious meal. When your wife performs brilliantly well on her duty, but her beautiful dresses, good shoes etc for her.
19. Desist from finding fault, complaint and condemning your spouse.

• Let Your Spouse Enjoy Having Sexual Relationship With You.
• Sexual intercourse between two of you.
• A child of God must not have concubine.
• There must not be premarital sex.
• Understanding each other when comes to sex.
•  Do not deny your spouse sex.
• There should be no bribe because of sexual.
• As a child of God, have self- control. You are not a dog or a he goat.
• Understand during child nursing, menstruation period, sickness and when fatigue sets in.
•  Remember events after sexual intercourse and immediately take action.

• Jointly Train The Children
• Parents must create a time to train their children. Deut 31: 13
• The father must not leave the training of the children in the hand of wife alone nor should mother leave her duty in this aspect as a pillar of the home.
• They must both discipline their children.
• Parents must not love a child more than others children in the family, no matter how the nutty child misbehaves in the family no body no future, this is experience. Prayer and commitment is the answer. Gen. 25: 28; 37: 3.
• They must have exemplary life for the children to be prayerful, mind you; the children are the glory of the home. Therefore, we must expose them to the teaching of the gospel. There are the hidden keys for a happy and blessed marriage. A home like paradise on earth.

Prayer Points

1. O Lord gives me grace to finish the race set before me on earth please.
2. O Lord heals my live so you can heal my marriage.
3.  O Lord orders the steps of my children in their marital journey on earth.
4. O Lord gives me victory over the challenges of yesterday, today and tomorrow in Jesus Name.
5. O Lord Jesus anoints my marriage now, today and in the future.
6. O Lord the glory of marriage let it be my portion in Jesus Name.
7. I kill the troubled goliath in my marriage today in the Mighty Name of Jesus.
8. I recover the lost cities of my marital joy in Jesus Mighty Name.
9. The blessing of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob possess my marital finances in Jesus Name.
10.  I will make it in racing supernatural kids for Jesus in my generation.

A virtue woman builds her home, but a foolish woman scatters her own home. Remember that you are called by your husband name. Shalom!

THE DUTY OF WIVE AND THE LEGACY OF THE CHILDREN

It is the duty of the wife to submit to her husband. The wife must love her husband with the whole of her heart. She must be hardworking in the house and have good relationship with her husband. She must give space for Jesus in her heart. It is wrong for any wife to load her husband with too much financial responsibility beyond the strength of the family. She should prove herself as a competent help meet to her husband financially, prayerful and emotionally.

Examination:

Submission to the husband as unto the lord is a divine standard. You must have good foundation as a virtuous woman in her husband house. Submit to his as unto the Lord – 1 Pet. 3: 1 – 6. A woman is created as help meet; therefore, do not turn yourself to liability on your husband. Always express genuine love, but not hypocritical love.

TRUE CHRISTIAN WIVE SHOULD BE:

1. Help meet to the husband – Gen. 2: 20
2. A companion – Mal. 2: 14 – 15
3. Wife Titus 2: 4 – 5
4. Lover – Eph. 5: 22; Col. 3: 18 – 19
5. Mother to her husband. Always taking care of him.

Give regards to your husband at all times. Sometimes, praise him, using words like; daddy; my love, my husband etc. a genuine Christian will never call her husband by name. Treat him like a king, he also will reciprocate. Stop find fault against him. Do not compare him to any other man. It is important that you have motherly care for your husband – Eph. 5: 22 – 24.

As a Christian, the laid down principle is one man, one wife. Establish solid relationship with your husband. Do not put up behaviours that will turn you against your husband, and lead the two of you to hell – Rom. 7: 2 – 3; 1 cor. 7: 9 – 16.

A virtues wife must be moderate in her dressing – 1Tim. 2: 9. Build up sense of financial management. It is not a good habit reporting your husband to another person.  If you feed offended, tell him his offence. During sickness, attend to him. A virtuous wife must engage herself doing something in the church of God as wife of Priscilla, wife of Acquilla

It is very possible for a wife to be a pastor, and still mange he home well. She must be cheerful, carrier of goodnews, patience, and help in-laws. Assist your husband to prove his headship in the family. Pride is not a good nature of a Christian wife. Possibly, she is more educated or richer than her husband, as unto the Lord.

Problem in the family comes to an end when wife show genuine love to her husband. There may be quarrel or mis-understanding, but have the understanding that it is the devil’s trick. Instead of allowing your husband’s weakness to weigh you down, forget about past issue, but always remember the first love between you and your husband.

Create room for understanding between the two of you. Take good care of the home. Prepare delicious food for your husband regularly. Be clean. – Pro. 31: 10 – 31

Moreover, give your husband good counsel, like Abigail – 1 Sam. 25: 3.

It is your duty to counsel your husband, to pay tithes. Encourage him to grow in the spirit. Do not act like Delilah, who provoked her husband. There are some wives who separate their husband from Jesus.

Also, do not act like Zeresh, wife of Haman – Esther 5: 14. Emulate not the attitude of Jezebel, Ahab’s wife who pushed husband to do evil – 1 Kings 19: 1 – 2. Likewise, your behavior should not be like Eve who caused the fall of Adam.

Ensure that your home is peaceful; let your home be paradise, here on earth, co-ordinate that family altar well in your home. A virtuous woman, her price is more than rubies.  Pro. 31:10. Her price is more than all world possession. Do not behave in a way that your home will scatter. Your negative action will affect the home and you.

THE LEGACY OF THE CHILDREN

It will amount to loss and sorrow if the gospel legacy fades out in your family. It is a heritage which must be handed over to your children turn to be masquerade r idolatrous or female children ending up in polygamous homes. There is no joy if your children do not accept the gospel. Only people whose children follow the lane of the narrow way gospel are successful as parents. It must never be heard that your own children enter into hell.

Examination:

1. THE PROPHET ENTERED INTO RECHAB’S HOUSE:  The words of Jeremiah from the Lord during the reign of Jehoickim, son of Josiah king of Judah say: Jer. 35: 1 – 5. The response and steadfastness of the children of Rechab Jer. 35:6. If critically examined.

Four commands given to Jeremiah are noticed here.

1. Go to the house of the Rechabites  – Jer. 35: 1 – 2
2. Speak unto them.
3. Bring these children into the room in the temple.
4. Give them wine to drink

If this passage is well studied, one would think that both God and Jeremiah planned that these children do contrary, in drinking wine. But in the light of the message, God was using it as an illustration for Judah to learn great lesson. God Himself was proud of the Rechabites in that they would not take wine. He, therefore, use this to measure the stand of the people of Judah before the Lord. This made clear, the difference between the life-style of the Rechabites and the people of Judah. The Rechabites harkened to the voice of their father while Judah failed to obey God, who had been merciful to them even when they were sinners.

The standard of the Rechabites is a great lesson unto us today. No prophet could deceive them because they held unto the teaching of their father. Today, many people have defiled by prophets. Some people have placed their church leaders into the place of God.

Instead of following the instruction from the Bible, they prefer their leaders human instruction “thou says the Lord” could not change the stand of the Rechabites. They knew whom they believed.

• NINE RESPONSES FROM THE RECHABTIES
• We will not drink wine – Jer. 35: 7
• We are acting according to the instruction given to us by our father.
• We must not build house – Jer. 35: 7
• We must not sow seed.
• We must not plant vineyard
• We must not own vineyard
• We must live all over our lives in the tent
• We believe the voice of our father
• We live in Jerusalem

At this end time that false prophets are all over people stand are being affected. Jeremiah was one of the major and popular prophets, but his words could not move them to start taking wine. Instead, they maintained their stand.

Where could we fine such obedience, as the Rechabites’ today? The church is full of excuses and suability. In this end time, children have been uncontrollable. They refer to their parents as uncivilized. In the contrary, the Rechabites accepted of the father’s teaching as old time teaching. They did not allow civilization not prophet Jeremiah’s voice to destroy their lives. This obedience led to the promise that, Jobadab son of Rechab shall not want a man to stand before me forever”.

Can you prove the teaching which you hold unto today? Is it the teaching on one man one wife? Has civilization not destroyed the sound teaching given to you before? Galatians 2: 18 – 19. Are you not upholding what you have pulled down before? Today has this not negatively affected stand and zeal. Rom. 13: 11 – 15. Go and make amendment today. Tomorrow may be too late. Learn from the Rechabites, who did not follow the multitude in the broad way or the worldly way. Rather, they preferred to maintain their stand as the light of the world and the salt of the earth. They blocked their ears against any discouraging words from people both within and outside. They could only hear the voice of their father.

Many Christians today have been infected and flushed away by the storm in this end time. It has turned some to be fraudsters, conspirators and rebels. The life lived by many is like the dog going back to its vomit, and like the big returning to the muddy ground. You were not like this before. Now, you find it convenient to waste time sitting for hours watching television, pressing phones and soon. You, who in the past had the slogan, “others can do it, but I must not”. Today, you have become an advocate of compromise. The Holy Spirit is asking questions from you, “Where is your first steadfastness in the faith”? Where is your former zeal? Where is the spirit of soul winning in you? You are no more thirst for the kingdom of God. You are only after this world that will soon end. The Rechabites served as lesson unto us today, to maintain our stand without compromise. You must not allow any prophet to deceive you again. Neither should you allow any pastor or teaching to have negative effect on you in God. Stand firm, and God will uphold you till the end – Heb. 3: 7 – 8. Always return to the Bible, so that you are not flooded away by the demonic teaching of the devil. Shalom!

BROKENESS AND THE HOME

Isa 66:2

2 For all those things hath mine hand made, and those things have been, saith the Lord: but to this man will I look, even to him that is poor and of a contrite spirit, and trembleth at my word.

Ps 145:19

19 He will fulfil the desire of them that fear him: he also will hear their cry, and will save them.

Phil 3:10

10 That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death;

The tree scriptures in the foregoing can be summarized thus; God has respect for the broken people. He hears and answers their prayers. The says God is very near them, and He will always answer them whenever they cry unto Him. The last verse we read tell us that brokenness is the only way through which we can become conformed into the Image of the risen Christ. You want to know the power of God? Then, you must be broken. You want to identify with Jesus Christ? Then, you must be broken. That is the summary.

Brokenness has some main characteristic life: the fear of God, obedience to the word of God, humility, holiness, the love and worship of God. There are so many others characteristic, but these are recurring features. The acid test for brokenness can actually be found in the home.

THE BROKEN HUSBAND

The test of brokenness at home can be put under two main characteristics.

THE FEAR OF THE LORD

What do I mean by the fear of God? The man who fears God must remember that has wife been given to him by God. We were told in Genesis 3: 23, that it was God who brought Eve to Adam and so had He done ever since. So when God brings you a gift, it is a perfect gift. The Bible says in Proverbs 18:22 that

“Whosoever fined a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from God”

Now, that woman is the favour from God, the broken man, therefore, will fear God and not misuse the gift of God.

How can you misuse the gift of God? When you start to beat your wife or when you bite her, then you are misusing the gift of God. Whenever negative things you do to her is amounts to misusing the gift of God. When you flirt and go out with other women after you have made a covenant before God, saying “till death do us part, and no other one,” if after you have said this, you still refuse to ditch you strange women, then, you are misusing the gift of God.

You can also be misusing her when you deny her from receiving her rights, and when you also mete all sorts of punishments to her. Some men would unbelievably go to the extent to denying their wives sex for months for any little wrong of their wives. This is a terrible way of misusing the gift of God. The problem with misusing the gift is that God, the owner of the gift, will punish the culprit. So, a broken man will fear God, and will be afraid to misuse what God has given him, knowing fully well that there is as unseen witness between him and his wife. When you read Malachi 2: 14, you will understand that God is the witness between a man and his life.

OBEDIENCE TO THE WORD OF GOD

The second quality one can use to test brokenness in the hme is obedience to the word of God. What do I mean by obedience to the word of God? What does the word of God say to the husband in Ephesians 5: 25?  Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; the bible says: in Colossian 3: 19, the Bible still says,  Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

The instruction of God in the foregoing verses are explicit in obedience to God’s instruction therefore, the broken husband will be the one who is a superior quality type of love and the Bible compares it with the way God loves us. This is the way God loves us. The Bible says in John 3: 16 “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”

This love is unqulifiable

Romans 5: 8 says: But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

It was an unqualified love. We were qualified for it. Even Jesus said that greater love cannot be shown by any man than He showed on the cross. No man would lay down his life for his friends like Jesus did. It is that kind of love that God expects a man to show to his wife.

GOD HAS LOVE THAT DOES NOT FADE, A LOVE THAT DOES NOT GET TIRED

A man whose love is fashioned after God’s love his wife completely. Such a man wills not secret diaries to record the short coming of his wife. The need to educate a man and woman too, on the type of love which should exist between them is emphasized by Apostle Paul.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

PATIENCE (Romans 5: 3 – 6)

When you love your wife, you will be patient with her, particularly with her mistakes. When she burn your soup, that will not e the source of a fight. Patient, therefore, must be the watch-word of a broken man in relationship with his wife. James 1:3. “Because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.”

KINDNESS

Again, you must be kind to her. Kindness here is not only in term of money, but in term of assisting her. You will not overburden her with house work and other chores. If you have both returned tired from work, you will not sit in the living room reading newspaper and watching television while she is doing all the cooking, washing plates and attending to all sort of things. Ephesians 4 :32 “ Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

If you do that, you will not be showing kindness to her. It is therefore, certain that you are not sharing her burden with her.

NOT A COMPETITOR

You will not compete with your wife, because she is your partner. The Bible says, “Two are better than one.” Eccl. 4: 9. The secret person is your wife, she is not your rival neither is she your competitor. So, stop comparing yourself to her.

DON’T BOAST

 You should not boast against your wife and you should not tell your wife that she is inferior by saying his is simply lucky to have married you. Perhaps you are also in the habit of boasting about your handsome looks; it is the man who does not fear God that will say “in those days before I knew God, ladies used to come , left, right and center to me, and if not for God, what will bring me to a person like you? “The more you say this kind of things to her the more you are insulting God. She did not make herself; God made her and you should fear God who made her.

BELIEVE IN YOUR WIFE I LOVE

When you love your wife, you will trust her and not be suspicious of her activates. You should not allow envy and jealous to creep into your relationship. When she comes home late, you will not say, “Yes, I know now that what they have been telling me about you is true!” you should believe your wife all the time. The broken man will support his wife always.

NOT BITTER, BUT FORGIVING

A broken husband will not be bitter against his wife and he will forgive her and forget her faults all the time. The Bible says, “Love covers all sins” Pro. 10: 12. The one who loves must continually forgive. If you are holding anything against your wife then you are doing it against yourself! The Bible says in 1 Peter 3: 7 1 Peter 3: 7” Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.”

DON’T BEAT HER

When you beat your wife, you are likely to run into more problems than you can cope with. Remember she has a guardian angel just as you have. The Bible says that, the guardian angel is continually beholding the face of God, Mat 18: 10. The meaning of this is that the angels have right to petition God on your behalf or your wife’s behalf about your needs or the need of your wife. If your angel is about to bring something to you after you have just given your wife a thorough beating, her angel can petition against you and that is how your prayers can be hindered. It is the same thing when you refuse to forgive her.

Perhaps you are in the habit of telling your wife that “I can never, never forgive you! Maybe when we get to heaven, then I will forget what you have done.” Let me assure you that nobody settles quarrels in Heaven. If you refuse to settle your quarrels here on earth, the Almighty God’s choice will be to throw the two of you down into hell, because He has no time to settle quarrels you have. He has no time for that. Settle your quarrels with your wife here before it’s too late, forgive her easily, and be generous with her as this is the will of God for you.

Brokenness requires all these things. I need to tell you a small story at this point about a husband and his wife. There were always complaints and grumbling in the house, as they accuse each other of being the trouble maker in the house. It got to a peak one day, when they decided to establish who actually the trouble maker in the house was. They got two small complain boxes and each was to drop whatever complaint he or she had against the other partner inside these boxes. Each time the man caught or barks the woman writes it down and was relentlessly dropping her complaints in the box. By the end of the week, the man had dropped only one piece of paper inside that box.

When it was time to check the boxes, it was the woman’s box they looked at first. She had 200 complaints against her husband which were quite petty. The woman was happy that she had succeeded in establishing the face that her husband was the trouble maker f their home. Ten they looked in the husband’s box and found only one piece of paper there, on which he had written “I love you.” Love covers a multitude of sins. That is how it should be with all of us. We should not resort to counting the numberless offences of our partners or indeed with anybody.

THE BROKEN WIFE

The broken wife will obey God. She will fear God and obey His word. How is that possible? She will remember that she is also a gift to her husband and that a good gift will prosper in the hands of the user. Therefore, she will behave herself wisely and kindly.

CO-OPERATION

A part from the fact that a broken wife should be kind and wise, Proverbs 31: 10 – 12 has something to say about the broken woman:

10  A wife of noble character who can find?

She is worth far more than rubies.

11 Her husband has full confidence in her

and lacks nothing of value.

12 She brings him good, not harm,

all the days of her life.

The worth of a broken woman has indeed been established in the foregoing verses. When the Bible says, “Two are better than one,” Eccl. 4:9, it is because they are cooperating with one another. If you have two people who want to be captain of the same home, then they are not better than one, and it is better for them to go their separate ways. The fear of God should be in the heart of a broken woman. She should look for ways of doing the man good and not harm. She must also obey the word of God.

SUMISSION

What does the word of God says about this?

Ephesians 5: 22 Ephesians 5: 22  “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.”

The comparison here is very big. When woman come to the house of God, they easily submit to God in praise worship. They speak in tongues and heaven will almost come down. It is that same total submission that God is asking you as a wife to give to your husband. Not that when you get home you tell him, “my friend, you have B.sc., I have B. sc.,…..” this is not submission.

You must submit to your husband because the Bible says “he shall rule over you.” We are told in Ephesians 5: 23 that the husband is the head of the wife. Therefore, you should not compete with your husband. It is in submission that cooperates with your husband. It is through submission that you show how much you love him. If he is going to reply on you, you must be submissive. The Bible says that the heart of her husband safely trust her, Proverbs 31: 11. You can cooperate with him through submission because God expects you to do that.

NOT CLAMOROUS

The broken woman will not be the clamorous kind of wife, who is always 1, Shouting 2, Nagging and 3, making all sorts of noise, that her matrimonial home cannot contain her husband and herself.

If there are problem in the house, the broken woman will prefer to go to God, rather than confront the man. Many things are spiritual and the best way to attack spiritual things is through prayers. The man is the decision maker; but if he has made the wrong decision, rather than coming out to attack him and say, “Just go on your knees and tell God to talk to him so that he can reverse that wrong decision. If God is your Father, then, He will do it because He wants peace at all times in the home. Therefore, irrespective of your achievements or your status in life, you must submit to your husband.

THE BOKEN FAMILY

The Bible says in Malachi 2: 5 that God is looking for godly children. Godly children can only be brought up under a peaceful and godly atmosphere, where the family observes morning devotion, as well as the night devotion. Such family will give the word of God preeminence, in their physical and spiritual lives. The family will regularly use every opportunity, life it is written in Deuteronomy 6: 7 – 9, to read the word of God and talk to their children and other people who live in their house, about it.

The broken family will be the type that will not provoke their children. How do people provoke their children? When parents fight constantly before their children, they are teaching them to be 1, rebellion and 2, riotous. The children will become sad, helpless and embarrassed all sorts of things could come up therefore.

Another way of provoking people is to deny them of their rights. Perhaps your children did not do well in their exam, and just because of that you have vowed that throughout his five weeks holiday, you will not allow him to step out of the house! Maybe you have instructed him to look himself right inside his bedroom everyday! This is provocation.

The Bible says that father should not provoke their children. A godly family will bring up their children in love, and also teach them to honour their parents, and elders. In addition, the will instruct their children to be trustful and godly in all things. Shalom!